Finally, someone that wasted hours finding out what happens when you respond to a ton of spam emails for SEO, social, and websites.
Paul Warren: Hi I’m Paul Warren.
Ryan Klein: And I’m Ryan Klein.
Paul Warren: And this is another episode of SEO is Dead and Other Lies.
Oh, Ryan. How are you doing?
Ryan Klein: I’m good.
You hear that Tacko Fall just signed with the Celtics?
Paul Warren: I didn’t hear that.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, it’s official.
Paul Warren: People aren’t here to listen about UCF, they’re here to get amazing SEO tips on life and business.
Ryan Klein: Oh, get out of here. We used to preface for episodes for 10 or 15 minutes, about UCF and how much we hated USF, and how weird Orlando is.
Paul Warren: That was before we made it to the big-time.
Ryan Klein: No, when you go to the big-time, you’re able to slack off more. I mean, I listen to Stuff You Should Know all the time and they talk less and less about the topic. And plus their podcasts have gone from 20, 30 minutes to an hour because how much they goof-off.
Paul Warren: Whoa.
Ryan Klein: People love them more than ever.
Paul Warren: We’re not quite there yet.
Ryan Klein: Oh, we’re there. We have a lot of downloads.
Paul Warren: So let’s talk about what we’re going to cover today.
Ryan Klein: I know why, it’s because you’re just really excited for this topic.
Paul Warren: I am really excited.
Ryan Klein: That is why.
Paul Warren: All right. So you introduce our topic.
Ryan Klein: So, we mention on the last podcast, and we mention it, it kind of popped into my head randomly, I think about 7 or 8 podcasts ago, when I was still in Orlando. And we’re like, “That’s a really good idea, we should do it”.
And it’s the episode where, every single time you’ve ever gotten a solicitation or a spam email, from someone that wants your SEO or your website, or sell you leads, or anything, from the United States, to Eastern Europe, to India, to Bangladesh, everywhere in between. I responded to a crap-ton of them. I responded to a lot of them.
Paul Warren: If you’re in digital marketing, you’ve absolutely gotten some sort of email that’s like this. Generally they go straight into your spam, sometimes they may come through though, occasionally.
Did you have to go into your spam folder to see these?
Ryan Klein: That’s all I did was go into my spam. Well the thing is, I don’t delete my spam permanently. It just sits there and accumulates, right? So I went to my personal and I went to this business email, and then I went to my personal business email, every email I have.
And I went to my spam and there they are. They’re all still sitting there, those proposals from yesterday, and a week ago, and months and months and years. I just kind of went through all of them, and then I kind of put them all together and I emailed back, you know, I could’ve probably emailed maybe over a hundred, easily. But that’s a lot of work and, you know, I think that we were going to get our point across pretty quickly anyway. So I did 30 or 40.
Paul Warren: 30 or 40. Okay, so this the best 30 or 40 spam proposals for digital marketing services. We’re going to walk you through this menu of delight. We’re going to tell you how much they’re charging, what they’re offering. Get ready!
Ryan Klein: Yeah, so the reason that we’re doing this is it’s our job to go out there and be like “What if?”, you know? If you’re just wondering “What if I actually went through with it and tried it out?”, don’t bother doing it, that’s what we’re here for! We love doing this stuff.
Paul Warren: We’re doing it for you, so that you can understand.
Ryan Klein: So, what you’re going to get from this podcast, we’re going to preface ahead of time, is you’re going to know, like Paul said, pretty much how much it’s going to cost. You might actually get a few ideas out of it because they’re just listing a million things. Like, I’m going to do A to Z, and I see some of these things and I’m just like, “That sounds like it was relevant ten years ago”. And then some of those things I’m like, “I don’t know, maybe, it’s not even the worst idea today”. So, we’re just going to see how these companies operate and if you can kind of, take away anything from it. And ultimately, hell, if you want to even engage in one of these campaigns, maybe it’s worthwhile, possibly. I’m doing a lot of shrugging over here, but who knows?
So I compiled it into a 15 page document and I shared it with Paul, I have it right in front of me. And, my friend, where would you like to begin on this document here?
Paul Warren: Well, let’s start at the top!
Ryan Klein: Cool, okay. Go for it! How did this person reach out? I love the outreach part.
Paul Warren: Okay. This is our outreach email, okay?
“Hello. Greeting for the day. If you want more clients and customers who want to promote your business?” That’s a question-
Ryan Klein: Oh, yeah. That was a question. Crap, that was a question.
Paul Warren: “We will rank your website by using our latest White Hat SEO Techniques. Email us back to get a full proposal. Thanks. Regards, Paul.” That’s weird, that’s my name.
Ryan Klein: That’s Paul, yeah. You know, and it would be weird because it doesn’t sound much like a Paul, according to this grammar and the capitalization of the word white, the capitalization of the word techniques. But guess who emailed them back? Me. So, we got the proposal back. And do you want to proceed with what that looks like?
Paul Warren: I will. Is this your website? You’re Ryanharb.org?
Ryan Klein: Oh, I don’t even know where they found that. I don’t even think that’s on a PBN or anywhere. So I just don’t even know.
Paul Warren: Did you just make it up?
Ryan Klein: I don’t even know what it is. Yeah.
Paul Warren: Huh. Okay.
Ryan Klein: But that’s what they want to do it for.
Paul Warren: Yeah. All right. We’ll skip some of the actual writeup back, and we’ll just get to the meat and potatoes. And this is what they’re offering, they’re charging, right? So it says “Now please find below the prices that we charge for our SEO services”
Ryan Klein: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Paul Warren: Okay. Package Name: SEO-10. Because guess what? You get 10 keywords for $90 a month. I don’t really know what you get for those 10 keywords, do they just tell you what they are? Or are they ranking them? I don’t know. They’re not really going into a lot of detail there, you know?
Ryan Klein: Well, I don’t want to get hung up on this first proposal because there’s like, a dozen, but I always really like these structures because structures in the States are very seldom by how many keywords. But overseas, they’re very heavily by how many keywords. And it doesn’t even matter what keywords, typically, you give them. So you could be like, I don’t know, “Orlando Lawncare”, they’re like “That’s a great keyword!” And you could be “Just Lawncare” and they’re be like “Perfect keyword!” And it’s like, dude, those are two totally different keywords, I don’t think it makes a difference. As far as these offerings.
Paul Warren: Okay, so packages like 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, Social Media Optimization. And they range from $90 to $220 a month, that you’re paying this person. So if you wanted 30 keywords ranked, I guess, they would charge you $220 a month.
Ryan Klein: Right. If you notice, with the pricing, it’s a little bit wonky too, because it goes from 10 to 15 keywords, it’s a difference of $30, for 15 to 20 keywords it’s a difference of $20, but a difference from 20 to 25 keywords, it’s $40. So, it’s just like, how is this is working, exactly?
Paul Warren: What? All right, you tell me these, uh, what they will be doing. They’re following SE0 activities on a monthly basis to bring some top results. Keyword analysis, density highlights, content optimization, they’re going to check for duplicates, inter-linking, URL optimization, not spelled correctly.
Ryan Klein: No Z, it’s an S. It’s different, you know, might be more British, who knows?
Paul Warren: What’s weird is they go back between both of them. Because one of them is optimization with a z, but some of them are with an s.
Ryan Klein: Oh, that’s a good point. Yeah, right. Yep. Whoops.
Paul Warren: And then it just says a Twitter code, LinkedIn code, Facebook code.
Ryan Klein: Oh you’re skipping a bunch. I like this, I want to go slowly, I want people to know every single activity they plan on doing.
Paul Warren: What, Master Tool Setup?
Ryan Klein: Well, because they-
Paul Warren: Google+! Dude, they’ll set up a Google+ for us!
Ryan Klein: I don’t think that’s even possible. But, yeah, they do broken links check and update 301 blanket redirect? Okay. Robots.txt, W3C Validation, Minify and stuff, compressing images, browse caching, grip compression. The only thing here I was like, I’m not exactly sure this is Stat Counter setup, is that, like, visitors?
Paul Warren: Either way, it’s included in the package, my friend.
Ryan Klein: It’s a lot.
Paul Warren: You don’t have to worry about it. They got you, fam! It’s fucking, they’re doing it!
Ryan Klein: So, it’s 25 on-page activities, after that’s done, they’re 20 off-page activities, which includes, may not be limited to, and I’m going to take a deep breath, I’m not going to breathe after this, or during this; search engine submission, top 10 directory submission, web2.0 blog submission, social book marking, article submission, classified ad posting, that’s interesting, I bet they have access to Backpage still. Press release promotion, provided by a client, though. You know, those can be pricey. PPT and PDF creations, I thought this was interesting, I’m going to stop here for a sec. So, in our SEO world, PowerPoints and PDFs gain index and they need links. How do you feel about that? Because I’ve heard some people find that to be relevant.
Paul Warren: Do I think PDFs get links? Yeah, they need links.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, so places where you can specifically upload, PowerPoints and PDFs and whatnot.
Paul Warren: Yeah, sometimes. I mean, I don’t feel like it’s a big thing there, but occasionally, yeah.
Ryan Klein: Okay.
Paul Warren: It wouldn’t be part of my mix, but, you know, power to you.
Ryan Klein: But, you know, if you’ve got $90 laying around and 10 hot keywords you want ranked, here you go. Uh, business listing, pretty generic. Photo sharing, provided by client, of course. Video submission, again provided by client. CSS, W2C, and RSS directory submission, okay. Profile link creation, that could mean anything. Article content, doesn’t really mean anything. Article content creation, I don’t really know what the difference is. Press-release creation, I think they already said that. Oh no, promotion. Blog content, PPT-
Paul Warren: So article content, blog content creation, article content creation, we get all these things combined, community creation, social networking sites, interesting.
Ryan Klein: Yeah. So, there’s a lot, okay? There’s 45 different activities going on. I don’t know I can’t really quantify some of them, like article content, and press-release creation, like not a lot of this is quantified, I’m assuming it’s whatever it takes to get the job done, like a good marketing agency.
Paul Warren: It seems, you know, not legit.
Ryan Klein: Well my favorite part, to wrap this up, “Usually, we charge $25 for this detailed analysis, but for you it’s free, just to increase my chances to business with you”. It’s sounds like a Borat thing like, “My chances to business with you”
Paul Warren: I’ve been a greater rankings, of all the rankings, in all of Kazakhstan, for you”.
Ryan Klein: So, you know, we’re not here to sit here and poke fun and be condescending, it’s just, you know, this is stuff that’s going in front of us.
Paul Warren: No, man. I think you should criticize this, this is a scam, fuck them.
Ryan Klein: Okay, it’s kind of scummy. I’m pretty sure that none of this would really work out.
Paul Warren: There trying to charge people hundred to two hundred something dollars a month to do this stuff. Come on.
Ryan Klein: Yeah. So that was really cheap, I was surprised about that. And now, I don’t know if you mentioned the Google AdWords, but setup and management for $130. Wow.
Paul Warren: What a deal.
Ryan Klein: That is super sweet. So that’s 1 out of 50, if you’re still with us, we’re going to go through 49 more proposals. No, we have a handful.
Paul Warren: And then it’s “Regards, International Marketing Manager”
Dude, he’s international.
Ryan Klein: Which one is that? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he is an international marketing manager. Okay, so that was the first one, it’s probably, more or less, if you’ve seen any of these, what you’d expect, unless the price is just insanely low. But you probably some things like this happening on Fiver too. People saying they’ll do a million links for ten bucks there, so what’s the difference?
Paul Warren: All right, let’s look at some best hits out of this one.
Ryan Klein: So this person has a stronger grasp. Oh, actually, this person, I did not get ultimately the proposal from. This is not really related.
Paul Warren: So you requested the ultimate proposal and he didn’t provide the ultimate proposal?
Ryan Klein: Who? Which one is this one?
Paul Warren: I don’t know, man, you tell me.
Ryan Klein: Well, I’m skipping two. I’m on three.
Paul Warren: Okay, we’ll go to proposal number three.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, on online marketing consultant.
Paul Warren: Is this Comic Sans, or some shit? This is hard to read. Um, all right.
Ryan Klein: Their tagline, I guess, for their whole company is “We have a SEO discount offer, get Google top ranking”. So there’s no transition word, it just hopped right in there. And this sounds a little bit more legit. I did not get a price for this one, but this is actually a little more in line with what you’d actually see here in the States. Such as, 150 directory submissions, 60 social bookmarking submissions, 20 articles, 1 article times 20 article websites. Okay, they were going to write one and put the same duplicated article on 20 websites, gotcha.
Paul Warren: 10 blog comments! Man, what a steal.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, that’s not too many. People still do those, though.
Paul Warren: Search engine submissions, okay?
Ryan Klein: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Paul Warren: Let’s see. 20 plus 1 way directory links, not just 2 way links, they’re not doing that shit.
Ryan Klein: No reciprocals, nope. It is going to you, you do not have to return the favor.
Paul Warren: That is right up my alley. That’s what I want to do for SEO.
Ryan Klein: The favor is just a hassle, you know?
Paul Warren: All right, All right. I’m loving it. What about on page activities?
Ryan Klein: You know, all these kind of sound straight forward, you know, talking about Meta info? Keyword research analysis, competitor analysis, heading tag changes, Alt Tag changes, Interlinking errors. I mean, this is verbatim, you know, this is what they’re saying, I’m not even being casual with this, this is how it says. Keyword density, in site content, okay, that doesn’t make as much sense. HTML Sitemap, and XML Sitemap. What would you find to be the benefit of having both? Am I oblivious to what having two-
Paul Warren: We need to pick one of these, at the end of this, to go with. Let’s go for something impossible to rank for. [inaudible 00:15:20]
Ryan Klein: Oh, you mean, like, the end goal is, we’re going to go with someone and we’re going to basically say some crazy keyword and they’re either going to say “That’s obviously very difficult” or they’re going to say “Absolutely! Oh my god, I’m so excited to work with you!”.
Paul Warren: Yeah.
Ryan Klein: We’ll see.
Paul Warren: Let’s give them the most insane, difficult niche to rank something in, and let’s see if they can do it!
Ryan Klein: Snuggles. No. Doggy Snuggles?
Paul Warren: Doggy Snuggles! I like it.
Ryan Klein: It’s about time we re-ranked for that.
Paul Warren: I think it’s time we brought that back.
Ryan Klein: Let’s bring it back to SEO world. Make it a meme for the ages. So two sitemaps, okay, cool. You know, double trouble. Rar.xml file creation, honestly, I’m not sure.
Paul Warren: Yeah, maybe that’s what we’re doing wrong, is we’re not doing enough sitemaps.
Ryan Klein: That’s possible.
Paul Warren: We need to double up to the sitemaps, at least.
Ryan Klein: No, what you need to do is create a sitemap for all your media, and all your blog pages, so then you can convince search engines to crawl every single page equally. And you just trash a website.
Paul Warren: I like it. Let’s try it.
Ryan Klein: Cool. And then, I like this robot, .txt file creation, extra work activities, I don’t know what that means either.
Paul Warren: Hm. I don’t either.
Ryan Klein: And then to kind of wrap it up, all this stuff is pretty normal, just the way it’s worded is really weird. But then the in conclusion in magenta. Beautiful, vibrant magenta. “Do let me know if you’re interested and I would be happy to share a password, details, and client testimonials, and prices”. Pretty normal. I responded to that and I didn’t get prices, but I’m assuming it’s going to be in the low hundreds.
Paul Warren: Man, they got to follow up. They want to make that money, you got to follow up.
Ryan Klein: So, surprisingly these things don’t sound super far off, if you’re asking SEO companies to itemize, or list out, what their plans are, from the SEO standpoint. It’s just everything comes down to execution. And I don’t think I’d want any of these things performed overseas.
Paul Warren: Okay, let’s read proposal number 5. I’m going to read.
Ryan Klein: Go for it.
Paul Warren: Because I like the way it’s written.
Ryan Klein: This is a website and they gave their price, so go for it.
Paul Warren: We got it all in here.
Ryan Klein: Mm-hmm (affirmative)
Paul Warren: It says, um, there’s no introduction here just “We offering responsive website design cost is US399”, $399.
Ryan Klein: $399, sweet.
Paul Warren: “Website would be open in any mobile, and full responsive, also easy to rank in Google”.
Ryan Klein: You don’t mention that a lot of these words are really randomly capitalized.
Paul Warren: Yeah, should I, like, yell when it’s capitalized?
Ryan Klein: Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it’s capitalized just be like “RESPONSIVE also EASY to RANK in GOOGLE”
Paul Warren: Yeah, okay. “Please share the details of your project so that I can analyze the exact workflow before DESIGN, we will send sample of design MOCKUP. In this price you will get sample MOCKUP until you’re satisfied”.
Ryan Klein: That’s good, man. Yelling it.
Paul Warren: “After approved DESIGN from your side then WE will start to design website”
Ryan Klein: You’re killing it. That’s exactly right, the emphasis is spread out evenly.
Paul Warren: Then they have a list of examples sites. You know, I didn’t even look at any of these sites.
Ryan Klein: Why don’t we just look at a few? Let’s just tell our listeners, I mean, okay. $399 website, I’m just going to tell you what it is. It is greenhillsshoppingcenter.com in Cincinnati. Dude, like, who in Cincinnati owns this shopping center is like, “Man, times are tight, I need to go overseas. I’m going to go with this person”, I don’t have their name, “I’m going to save some money, and they’re going to build this website”.
Paul Warren: The last one on here is bostonseomarketingservice.com
Ryan Klein: Do you think that SEO marketing company outsourced their web design?
Paul Warren: That would be pretty awesome and funny.
Ryan Klein: It’s funny because the website, it just looks like a modified, very simply WordPress template from about 6 years ago.
Paul Warren: Dude, this is their website. This is their website because they have the other things on here listed as like, their portfolio.
Ryan Klein: Oh, you got them. You’re sneaky and you’re a detective.
Paul Warren: They put their own website in their portfolio.
Ryan Klein: I suppose that makes sense.
Paul Warren: Do you think it’s in Boston?
Ryan Klein: Um, I think it’s in Boston, Bangladesh.
Paul Warren: No, man. They have an actual, they have a GMB.
Ryan Klein: I don’t know.
Paul Warren: They got everything.
Ryan Klein: You know what? I’m going to say it, I mean, these websites are just $399 websites. That’s the thing. Like, if you want a website for $399, this is what you’re going to get. And I think that’s probably pretty fair.
Paul Warren: They have an About Us, and in their About Us, there is a Boston team and an India team. I wonder if they don’t even know this is happening?
Ryan Klein: No, it’s cool. You know it’s all going full circle, because now Tacko Fall is going to be-
Paul Warren: In Boston! I see what you did there.
Ryan Klein: That’s why I wanted to lead with it because I already looked at all these websites, I know everything about all these agencies, and I knew we were going to come full circle at this point of the podcast.
Paul Warren: Beautiful.
Ryan Klein: You love it. Okay, cool. So this is a plug, whatever. If you want a $399 website, that looks like a $399 website, which is cool; go to bostonseomarketingservice.com. Okay? That’s fine. These websites, they’re fine. But that’s what you get. Cool. What else do they say about it? I want you to read the last paragraph because I love the emphasis from the capitalization.
Paul Warren: This one. Okay.
Ryan Klein: Starting with “Also”
Paul Warren: I got to get ready to perform here.
Ryan Klein: Take a shot of Mezcal.
Paul Warren: “Also, it would be really appreciable, if you can come online for a small chat session, so that we both are on the same page. Send your domain NAME reference site or COLOR combination, which you like. So THAT we take idea of your CHOICE”
Ryan Klein: Ah, that was beautiful.
Paul Warren: Good day.
Ryan Klein: I’m never going to forget this moment.
Paul Warren: Yeah, I love it.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, that was great.
Paul Warren: Should we pick him just based on the syntax of that sentence, you know?
Ryan Klein: I don’t know how they write that way. But it’s cool. That was great, I’m glad we went through that. It’s good to see those are decent websites, if you want to pay that, great. You know, if you’re tight on cash, and in the States, I really feel like if you’re here and someone quotes you $500 for a website in the States, it’s going to be pure trash. But if you spend $500 overseas, you’ll get something that’s workable. I do feel that way and I have done projects like that. That’s what happens with web design.
Paul Warren: Let’s go onto the next one.
Ryan Klein: We built a little solar website, remember, that looked pretty good, and it was like $200.
Paul Warren: Yeah. You know, we copied another site, like, exactly.
Ryan Klein: They didn’t copy the code, the code was completely different. It just looked the same.
Paul Warren: Yeah. They cut it out for, like, 200 bucks.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, it was, like, 200 bucks. So 400 is double what you should pay.
Paul Warren: Okay, man. So take us through proposal 6, and by the way, if anyone is still listening to this podcast at this point, I don’t know how much value, like, this is fun for us, but we are going to pick one of these proposals to do some business with us.
Ryan Klein: Well, this one is pretty interesting, because, again, they completely quote all the prices. And they have a lot of examples. Okay, so here’s proposal 6. There’s not as many capitalizations for no reason, I don’t know, we’ll see.
“Hope you are doing good”. Okay. “I got a mail from our marketing manager, Prince, today, that you were interested in seeing our previous work and some examples websites, and interested in more information about our services.” Okay, I gotcha.
“We are Web designing and Development Company India”. Cool. “We do have professionals in website design, designing in mobile app development, we also provide SEO, ERP, CRM, Ecommerce. We have developers for all technologies for EG, WordPress, Magento, PHPS, .net, Drupal, Ruby on Rails, etc.”
So they’re doing a bunch of stuff. They list, I don’t know, what is this? Like 30 websites? Let’s look at one of them. So we are on sgdinc.com and it’s fine.
Paul Warren: Okay. Okay. They were like “Hey, here’s some of our most creative designs”.
Ryan Klein: Oh, is that what they said?
Paul Warren: Yeah.
Ryan Klein: Oh, yeah, yeah. I missed that. “Here I’m sharing some of the most creative designs”. So these are the ones in the live websites, not the ones that we really did a horrible job on, or the ones people took down after a day or a month. No, this isn’t a $400 website, this looks a little bit better. This ones not loading, so maybe this one was taken down today. Actually, I’m clicking a couple, and a couple of these are already not existing.
Paul Warren: Interesting.
Ryan Klein: Origami-
Paul Warren: Delightful acupuncture, does that work?
Ryan Klein: Origamibicycles.com
Paul Warren: Oh, there’s a law one in here. Okay, I hope this one works.
Ryan Klein: Oh, there’s a legal one?
Paul Warren: Yeah, j-
Ryan Klein: Lifetime immigration?
Paul Warren: No, no. Lifetimeimmigration.com? That’s one on there, that’s pretty funny. No, jackman.
Ryan Klein: Let’s take a look.
Paul Warren: I guess that’s it. Uh, it’s not really working.
Ryan Klein: This lifetime immigration website is good. So, let’s take a look at lifetime immigration, it’s a Canadian website. There’s a ginormous Canadian flag and there’s Canada stuff everywhere. Actually, I’ve never seen so much Canadian pride in a website in my life. But that’s cool. This is a good website, I like it. So we’re talking about far exceeding $400 mark. Not as far as, well, what’s the name of their company?
Paul Warren: So they charge $600.
Ryan Klein: Oh, okay, yeah, that’s the point. So the point is this is a potentially $600-
Paul Warren: But still, you know what? You know what? That’s not that bad. For 600 bucks, that’s pretty cheap.
Ryan Klein: Oh, no. If I got this website with only 600, I’d be very surprised.
Paul Warren: Click on that jckimlaw.com. It’s, like, missing all the basic stuff you would need to SEO to work.
Ryan Klein: Oh, you need that stuff though.
Paul Warren: There’s no map info or anything on there.
Ryan Klein: So it has kind of like a stock, like, accelerated video thing above the fold, and then all these sections, that’s a pretty modern way of doing things.
Paul Warren: Yeah, it a really modern website. Looks good.
Ryan Klein: It isn’t bad, man. I mean, this is not-
Paul Warren: It loads.
Ryan Klein: It loads, man, it loads. And if you press X out of it, it closes and everything.
Paul Warren: Yeah. You can refresh it.
Ryan Klein: This is cool. Yeah, I’d be surprised if this were 600. So yeah, I guess it is. So, you know, this particular company, $600. Turnaround time was 10 days. Wow. That’s a lot of work. Especially if you go back and forth with the client. So I don’t even know how you do that. But good for them.
Ecommerce, 750, turnaround time is 10 to 15 days, and then, if you’re ultimately super satisfied with this product, which this is pretty quality stuff, they’ll do your SEO for 150 a month.
Paul Warren: 150 a month, wow. 150.
Ryan Klein: They don’t say what the package is, it just says SEO package would cost 150 a month.
Paul Warren: That’s what I like. They’re straight to the point. They don’t give me any of the boring details hey, they’re [inaudible 00:28:01] SEO.
Ryan Klein: Dude, I don’t want to know the xml sitemaps, I don’t where care where you’re [inaudible 00:28:05] blog comments and bookmarks, just give me the package. Right?
Paul Warren: Yeah, that’s all I want.
Ryan Klein: Okay. So depending on the competency of keywords, I don’t know if that’s the right word. And it will take around six to seven months to make your website reach on first page of Google.
Paul Warren: That’s actually not a lie, which is good. That’s legitimate expectations.
Ryan Klein: Paul, it kind of sounds a little bit like we’re going to use these guys.
Paul Warren: I feel like, you know what? We got a lot of Ecommerce projects, I think we should have them do an Ecommerce site for us.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, why don’t just sell a bunch of crap? Let’s just end this podcast and get to work and do something that actually makes us money right now.
Paul Warren: Sell this podcast.
Ryan Klein: Yeah! I think we’re going to try these guys. That sounds pretty good. And if anyone is listening like “I want some cheap SEO?” No! Shame on you! Figure it out on your own.
Paul Warren: Hold on, we got more proposals.
Ryan Klein: Okay.
Paul Warren: We haven’t decided yet, we have a couple more.
Ryan Klein: This one’s really good. What’s the seven one saying?
Paul Warren: I’ll read through this, I’ll read through it. Okay, so it starts out, you know, the team of our talent, professional, implements suitable SEO, they have tactics to bring your business to the top. Right? So if you could provide me with your website URL, business target location, I can do a detailed analysis and provide you with a proposal of the quote. All right? Thanks, Alice Davidson.
Ryan Klein: Actually, the rest of this isn’t the proposal, she never sent me the proposal.
Paul Warren: Oh, well, guess what? Sorry Alice Davidson, it isn’t going to happen!
Ryan Klein: Yeah, I think a fair amount of the following ones are just the introduction emails without the proposal follow-ups.
Paul Warren: Oh, man.
Ryan Klein: So yeah, there’s one right here. It’s like “Hello, quick follow-up to my earlier email”, it’s like one person is promising 40% something or other, 10 or 15 in market inquiries, they have [inaudible 00:30:03] so that means they’re real. That’s cool. Another person does a scare tactic about your maps being gone. Where’s the next real-
Paul Warren: I got a good one. Here we go.
Ryan Klein: All right, go for it.
Paul Warren: It says, “My name is Amanda. And I’m working with the reputable, leading, S.E.O. Company in India. We have the expertise to get our customers’ websites top-ranking in Google, Yahoo, and MSN and other search engines.
Ryan Klein: Oh, baby! Did I just hear MSN?
Paul Warren: Yep.
Ryan Klein: What the hell does that mean?
Paul Warren: “producing high revenue with top page rank, guaranteed base result, within three to four months. We provide SEO special offer for the following package; 50 directory submissions, 50 social bookmark submissions, 10 articles submissions”, one article times ten article directories, “10 press release submissions”, you get the picture, only one press release there, “Google submissions, one 400 word unique article”, I’m glad they were clear about that.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, it better be.
Paul Warren: Yeah. “one unique 400 word press-release, Metatags change suggestions”, so I don’t think they do it for you, but they suggest it, “keyword research, competitor analysis, heading tags, alt tags, xml sideman submissions and Web Escher tools” Thanks, I’m glad that you guys took care of that for me, putting that URL in there and hitting submit. Uh, “content optimizations and search engine submission”.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, so two things from this. The Metatags changes suggestions is funny to me because everything else, they’re using their discretion, they’re just doing it, but for Metatags they’re going to be like, “Okay, I’m suggesting that you do it this way”. And then the second this is, this is pretty much the exact same package we already read, from a completely different company, supposedly, meaning that one of two things is happening. A, this was the same person, just from a different company/ email or B, a lot of these Indian companies are, like, using a template.
Paul Warren: This is word-for-word the other thing.
Ryan Klein: It’s very close. So I think that actually over there, they might have, I don’t know, like a go to, is consortium the word I’m looking for? What’s consortium? Do I make up words sometimes?
Paul Warren: Cabal?
Ryan Klein: Oh, no. I nailed it, yeah, consortium. Cabal, isn’t that more like creepy, or dealing with some-
Paul Warren: I think it was a character in one of the Mortal Kombat’s.
Ryan Klein: Yes, he was, yeah. Kabel, yeah.
Paul Warren: Yeah.
Ryan Klein: That is true. But anyway, the consortium comes up with all the templates, it’s just like, you know, over here, how every Chinese restaurant has the same menu?
Paul Warren: Yeah.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, it’s like the guild, the consortium, of Chinese restaurant trust, comes up with the menu, and then they just alter the graphics and the name, and then they just use the same menu. That’s kind of, probably the same for here.
Paul Warren: That sounds legit.
Ryan Klein: I don’t know, I’m not complaining, I love Chinese food. If I go to a Chinese restaurant, it’s Americanized to the point where I want the same thing at every single place. If I go somewhere and they don’t have General Tso’s, I get really cranky.
Paul Warren: Yeah.
Ryan Klein: I mean, Tso’s is what I want.
Paul Warren: Well, you know, that’s totally true. And don’t fact-check it. There you go.
Ryan Klein: Don’t fact-check it. Snopes isn’t accurate today anyway.
Paul Warren: All right, well, I’m sorry, Amanda Reyes, from the highly reputable, leading SEO company in India, you didn’t give us any pricing, we’re not going with you. You’re out.
Ryan Klein: I’m assuming the same packages, I’m assuming it’s anywhere between $90 and $220.
Paul Warren: Yeah.
Ryan Klein: So, we’re just trying to get a grasp on what we can expect for SEO and websites, maybe a little social optimization, which they didn’t explain whatsoever. Maybe a little Paper Click optimization, which they also did not explain whatsoever. So, we have, I think one more proposal here that’s, to me, very interesting actually.
Paul Warren: Oh, please. Please do.
Ryan Klein: Okay, so the message was, “What will we do to increase your DA?”, you know, domain authority, I don’t know. Well, they answered it for me, “Our plan is very simple, yet very effective, we have researched all” and I said all, I added that part, “all available sources and gained access to thousands of high DA domains that are directly in recalled by Mos. Robots”. What? Okay. I guess its MO’s robots because Google gives a shit. Okay. Well, maybe it’s just-
Paul Warren: [inaudible 00:35:05] digital?
Ryan Klein: Well, MO’s metrics are DA and PA, right?
Paul Warren: Yeah, so they have a link. Monkey Digital’s product Mos. DA SEO plan.
Ryan Klein: Oh-
Paul Warren: It’s $69.
Ryan Klein: Oh, it’s $69? Cool, you got pricing. But anyway, oh wow, this isn’t even, like, a real graphic. And also, the American dollars would never use a comma instead of a decimal.
Paul Warren: Yeah.
Ryan Klein: That’s weird. But they want to do 5,000 DA 30 plus backlinks, 2,500 you follow from high PA pages, and 1,000 unique domain links with high DA scores, that’s a preposterous amount of links. That’s insane. It is an insane amount. Let’s buy it. Let’s do it.
Paul Warren: I think we got to try it out. I don’t know what price this is in. What currency?
Ryan Klein: Currency. I mean, that’s US dollar. I mean, that’s the dollar symbol.
Paul Warren: It can’t be because it’s like, hundred thousand stuff, at the bottom there, you know.
Ryan Klein: Well, it’s eleven hundred, that’s because the decimal-
Paul Warren: No, scroll down to the footer and they have all their stuff listed there.
Ryan Klein: No, I’m seeing premium website traffic, but it’s $6 to $400 not 600 to 40,000. You see?
Paul Warren: So, if it’s 350,000, you’re saying it’s $350?
Ryan Klein: Well, which one are you looking at?
Paul Warren: Okay, I see you what you’re saying.
Ryan Klein: It’s just because they’re using commas instead of decimals like us Americans do.
Paul Warren: Okay, Okay. So $30 to $100, oh yeah, you know what? These are some pretty cheap deals here.
Ryan Klein: Hey everybody! Let’s all go to monkeydigital.co together, not .com, .co, click on SEO packages, and let’s look at what we can buy right now. Let’s do it.
Paul Warren: There’s this.
Ryan Klein: Okay, will it email us at, uh, what’s our email?
Paul Warren: You make me say this every episode, you know what our email is.
Ryan Klein: Uh, seized, Paul, dot, g-
Paul Warren: No, no.
Ryan Klein: yahoo.com?
Paul Warren: This is why I have to respond to all the emails, isn’t it?
Ryan Klein: All 500 of them? Get over it.
Paul Warren: Yeah, all five. Um, it’s is firstname.lastname@example.org
Ryan Klein: Okay, what we’re going to do is, you’re going to email us, you’re going to say “I’m in $10” and then we’re going to pool a bunch of money together, we’re going to build an Ecommerce website altogether and we’re going to go monkeydigital.co and ramp it up with a bunch of traffic and links, and we’re going to split the profits.
Paul Warren: Yes but I think we get the other one to build our site, and we get Monkey Digital to build our links.
Ryan Klein: I love it.
Paul Warren: So we’re stacking. We’re stacking services. This is how you get to the top.
Ryan Klein: Ooh, Adult SEO plan, let’s click on that real quick.
Paul Warren: Ooh, what’s the adult SEO?
Ryan Klein: Only for big boys. “We will promote your adult XXX website to rank high in search engines. We are specialized in SEO for XXX websites” Ooh, so they’ll do SEO for porn, that’s actually a big deal.
Paul Warren: That’s pretty hard to build links for porn.
Ryan Klein: I know.
Paul Warren: How are you going to do it?
Ryan Klein: Just Wikipedia.
Paul Warren: Wikipedia.
Ryan Klein: Scholarships. It’s perfect for edu.
Paul Warren: I’m that’s one of the amazing things that pornhub, is it pornhub? Yeah, they have links from, like, legit websites because they do the study on like sexual preferences every year. And like CNN links to them. It’s amazing.
Ryan Klein: This is amazing. I can’t believe I came across this. Do you see this package that’s negative SEO service?
Paul Warren: Whoa!
Ryan Klein: And then it says “Do you have competitors that don’t play fair in terms of SEO? Then why should you?” I mean, amen, right? I mean, I completely agree. “Hire us, and we’ll do negative SEO campaigns for your competition by building the worst possible backlinks towards their website and keywords”. Oh my god.
Paul Warren: I like it. Let’s try it.
Ryan Klein: Do see “Choose your plan”? Missile Attack $79, Bomb Attack $150, Atomic Bomb Attack $250, 6 million visits attack $500. I can’t believe I’m seeing this. You’re hearing it here first, this isn’t even staged or planned, just kind of stumbled across this. And I’m, like, blowing my mind right now. I have to send this to Corey.
Paul Warren: Well we got to try it now.
Ryan Klein: Who are we going to negative SEO?
Paul Warren: I don’t know. You know what? Somebody listening out there, if you want us to negative SEO someone, just let us know.
Ryan Klein: No, I’ve never really done it before, or not really, sort of. But actually, there’s more information. One last line, I don’t want to get carried away, “Why should you play fair if they won’t? Are your competitors applying bad SEO tactics towards your already ranked website?”, all caps “FIGHT BACK! They won’t even know what hit them!” Oh my god, this is so insane.
Paul Warren: I like it.
Ryan Klein: I love it! I mean, it’s not every day you see this level of aggression on a website.
Paul Warren: They also have Alexa ranked services, which I’ve never seen that, really, yet, anywhere.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, they’ve got all sorts. I mean I clicked on Special Offers to get to this negative SEO part. I like it, it’s one of the things that has 5 stars, like, not all of these things are rated, but this, it did earn a 5 stars.
Paul Warren: But this one is. The negative SEO service.
Ryan Klein: Reputation management, network traffic offer, bundle SEO for new websites, everything else is a little more benevolent.
Paul Warren: Six million visit attack, that’s the one. I’m pretty sure that would shut down your site, just from the overload of-
Ryan Klein: I mean it’s just, like, insane. You can get 1,000 plus edu backlinks for $35, I don’t even understand how this is possible. Well, I’ll be messing around with this, I think. I’ll pay with Bitcoin too.
Paul Warren: I mean, I feel like it’s wrong to not pay with Bitcoin on a site like this, you know?
Ryan Klein: I’m surprised there’s even other options. But, um, cool. Welcome to the world of spamming kind of, out there places to get website and SEO and other services done. We’ve delved in like Conquer and Legit, and Fiverr and talked to some people on Blackhat World and other places, but you know, this is also interesting.
Paul Warren: I like, you know what, we picked our two, we got them, we figured it out.
Ryan Klein: Now, we’re going to reveal that particular company we were pretty impressed with, to build a website for $750. We’re going to let them do their thing because they build a nice website. And Monkey Digital, they don’t screw around, so we’re going to use them to build some links, and see what happens.
Paul Warren: Yeah, and then, you know, maybe we negative SEO someone, because negative SEO is a ruthless tactic that’s not for the faint-hearted searching optimizing.
Ryan Klein: Nope. Yeah email us if you want to be negative SEO’d, we’ll do it to you first, don’t worry.
Paul Warren: Oh, you know that they have actual reviews on here? I didn’t read them.
Ryan Klein: Oh, really?
Paul Warren: Yeah.
Ryan Klein: Is it the negative SEO one?
Paul Warren: “Thank you, well done.”
Ryan Klein: “Thank you”-
Paul Warren: They all put their names on it, it’s funny. Gerard-
Ryan Klein: Oh, I see, yeah, yeah. Gerald Lloyd: Thank you, well done. Victoria, she’s a feisty one, “Full reports in 2 weeks, they kept their promise”.
Paul Warren: “Progressive work, I like it”.
Ryan Klein: These are all from over a year ago, though. Hopefully they’re still on their game. I’m going to read a review. I just love the descriptions. “Keep up the good work”.
Paul Warren: I believe in you.
Ryan Klein: We should negative SEO one of our own digital assets that we don’t really care about, and see what happens.
Paul Warren: That would actually very interesting. We could an article writeup for it, for like Search Engine Journal, where we paid to have our own site negative SEO’d.
Ryan Klein: Yep. So I think that about wraps up this whole little exercise in responding to spam emails because it led us down a little bit of a rabbit hole but we came up on the other side, better for it. I’m looking pretty optimistic to upcoming SEO projects.
Paul Warren: Yeah, and we’ll do a follow-up to this in a couple weeks, when we’ve had all these services done. Remember we have to wait at least 10 to 14 days for our Ecommerce website to be bought.
Ryan Klein: Oh, I know, that’s so quick, oh my god.
Paul Warren: I can’t wait that long, I want to start selling.
Ryan Klein: Are we going to spiltsies on it?
Paul Warren: Yeah, we can splitsies on it.
Ryan Klein: I have too many projects going on.
Paul Warren: That’s why we’re outsourcing.
Ryan Klein: I need these listeners to pay premium. No, I’m joking, whatever. This is going to be free forever, I don’t even care.
Paul Warren: Well, guys, thank you all so much for listening to us, we appreciate our listeners. And remember, if you like what you hear, to like, share, or subscribe. You know, we don’t get any money out of this. I think I say that every episode.
Ryan Klein: Just say it more and more “no really, we don’t make anything”-
Paul Warren: [inaudible 00:44:18] No, we just like to keep this information free, and put it out there, because we like helping the SEO community, so we hope you guys enjoy it.
Ryan Klein: Yeah.
Paul Warren: But hey, you know how we do it for the likes, so if you get a chance to do that, or leave us a good review, or just leave us a review and tell us that we suck, it’s better than nothing.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, at least we’re hearing from you. “Hey, you suck”. Okay, cool. It was nice to talk to you too.
Paul Warren: Or if you’re interested in being a guest, we actually have several guests booked, that are going to be coming up in August. But if you’re interested in being on, SEO is Dead and Other Lies, we’d love to have you on and hear some unique and different perspectives in the SEO industry. We have big things coming up.
Ryan Klein: Yeah, the downloads are pretty damn consistent, that’s really cool. I talked to Paul, he goes “Hey! This is like pretty cool!” And then some, more and more, want to book and talk with us, so what are you waiting for? We’d love to have you on. And my last thought is, shoot us an email and if you want to contribute to this project, you can have equity in it, so if you donate, you know, 20 bucks, you’ll get, like, half a percent, and if you come up with any ideas for what we should sell on our Ecommerce website, we’d love to hear that too. But shoot, let’s all go into this together, let’s all do equity, crowdsource this thing and have a good time.
Paul Warren: Anyone listening, if you send in a suggestion, on what this Ecommerce website should be, we will sell that product on this website.
Ryan Klein: Don’t say, like, chocolate dildos, because I’ll be like, I don’t know.
Paul Warren: It has be, like, a real-
Ryan Klein: Like a little knick-knack, sort of niche, but not too weird, so I can actually like talk about it appropriately for more than 5 minutes, and actually want to work on it.
Paul Warren: What if his negative SEO we put his own website in there?
Ryan Klein: Oh, I have to stick to my promise.
Paul Warren: But anyways, thank you all so much for listening. I’m Paul Warren.
Ryan Klein: And I’m Ryan Klein.
Paul Warren: And this has been another episode of SEO is Dead and Other Lies.
Ryan Klein: Bye! Take care! Okay!
Paul Warren: Bye!
Ryan Klein: Next time, Bye!